Ditching the identity by default

Most of us have identities we didn’t exactly choose — roles we stepped into because we were good at them, or because they made sense at the time. But life changes, and sometimes the identities we built start to feel too small. And it takes a certain kind of bravery to admit that, step back, and start over.

The last three weeks have felt like a strange kind of reset. Not dramatic or chaotic, just clarifying. A lot shifted at once, and instead of trying to hold onto the version of myself that I’ve always known, I’ve been sitting with a different question:

Who am I when I’m not performing the identity I’ve had for years?

For the majority of my life, I haven’t had to think about who I was. I was an athlete.

I’ve been in track & field since I was in the fifth grade, and for years, it shaped nearly every aspect of my life: my routine, my schedule, my relationships, my priorities, my identity.

After four injuries in the span of a year, it became clear that God was consistently redirecting me toward something new. Letting go wasn’t easy, but it was honest and necessary.

Walking away from a sport you’ve done for nearly a decade feels like losing a piece of yourself. But it also reveals just how much of your identity was held together by forced habits and expectations.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is loosen your grip on the life you’ve always known to make space for the life you’re meant to grow into.

Being a Division I athlete equipped me with life skills in time management, leadership, resilience, collaboration, and what genuine hard work feels like. These are lessons I will carry forever.

But it also came with a cost: missed experiences, limited freedom, and a lot of “maybe next semester.”

Now, for the first time, I’m able to choose what my days look like. I’m free to explore passions that were once pushed to the side. I’m free to build an identity that doesn’t rely on performance, pressure, or the next practice.

For the first time, the identity I’m stepping into is one I’m choosing — not one I’m performing by default.