A Generation Desensitized

How growing up trained for violence reshaped our reactions

I didn’t grow up paranoid. I grew up trained.

Trained to hide under art tables during lockdown drills.

Trained to scan rooms.

Trained to assume that danger could arrive at any moment.

I’ve never been a victim of gun violence. And yet, I’ve spent my entire life preparing for it.

Here’s when I started to realize it was becoming a problem:

I was about 12 or 13 years old. My mom and I were sitting at a table at Auntie Anne’s, sharing a cup of pretzel bites, when, out of nowhere, she said “Oh my God.”

My body reacted before my mind did. I ducked down.

Even though there were no known threats nearby, my mind immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. I snapped at her and said “You can’t just say that and not finish your sentence!”

For a long time, I thought that reaction was dramatic. But slowly, I began to realize it wasn’t drama at all — it was conditioning. I didn’t react that way because I was overreacting. I reacted that way because I had been trained to.

Our entire lives have been filled with fear.

This realization has come back to me recently, especially in a time when shootings feel like a daily occurrence. I know it’s bad because it doesn’t upset me the way it should anymore. I see the headlines, shake my head, and scroll past. Not because I’m heartless, but because I’m desensitized.

When trauma becomes something you see every day, it stops feeling shocking. It becomes part of your life. Part of your society. Part of your world. It’s no longer a breaking story — it’s just another day in America.

I scrolled past a headline about the shooting at Bondi Beach. My reaction was simple: “Damn.”

That realization scared me more than the headline itself.

I’m realizing this is a problem.

Twenty-year-olds should not be desensitized to murder.

Yet here we are — trained not just to survive, but to look away.